Coach. Mentor. Servant Leader.
Inaugural seasons are tough! What do you say after the season ends with a frustrating loss? I choose to focus on growth, gratitude, a vision for the future and most importantly family and togetherness. I’m very proud of this incredibly resilient group!
Ever been en route to a job interview and got an email from a different company with a potential opportunity? It happened here in the college search process too. My advice? Stay present, crush the current interview/visit, and cross other bridges if/when they come! Have a watch for the details….
Ask questions, gain knowledge and look for organizational stability: handling changing conditions in a job search and it’s similarities to a situation that can happen in the college athletic recruitment process.
How do we keep the spirit of Giving Tuesday going? Gratitude! Check out my short video on the joy and benefit of gifting specific messages of gratitude to those that have positively impacted our lives.
Polite Persistence! College athletic recruitment update and the upside to continued, well-worded communication and the positive impact it can have on your recruitment process!
College athletic recruitment story update. What role does financial fit play? Chasing the best $ deal alone is not a recipe for flourishing. Conversely, financial stress on a family is also not a recipe for success. Lots of grey zone here. Same can be said of a job search-how much weight does salary alone carry? How much weight does the work environment carry? What balance will allow you and your family to flourish? Lots to think about!
Always humbled and honored to work with young people looking for the right college fit. Focus on process. Control the controllables. Take an inside-out approach, and ask yourself “What matters to you? What do you value?”
Remember where you were when Justin Leonard sank his putt at Brookline in 1999? I sure do! This week’s Give & Go is a shout out to the Ryder Cup competition and the importance of meaning and purpose, and the significant effect being a part of something bigger than oneself plays in our well-being.
This week’s Give & Go – a simple work-life balance tip that can help you unplug, get better sleep, and get your morning off to a great start! Happy shopping!
Big moments deserve a pause. This week’s Give & Go introduces the positive psychology concept of savoring. For more details on how to savor, check out this great article: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_steps_to_savoring_the_good_things_in_life
This week’s Give & Go; breaking the physiological response to nervousness through deep breathing with a pause. Happy counting!
My thoughts on why people of any age will likely perform better if we allow them to acknowledge, accept (and even embrace) their pre-event nerves. Enjoy!
As a servant leader, I’m always looking to find ways to combine my passion of sharing thoughts and knowledge with my love of sports and competition; especially hockey. The “Give and Go” is a simple play in hockey (and other sports) that I think embodies the spirit of servant leadership, contributing to a community of learners, and competitiveness. Check out my quick video on the concept and be sure to check back here on a weekly basis for new video posts!
Watch my video on Grit (two inspirational stories included) and its importance in business, sports and life. If the video resonates with you, Angela Duckworth’s best-selling book Grit is a must read for you! https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-book/
I am honored, grateful and excited to embark on this journey at Alvernia University. Great school and great people that live their values every day!
Imagine you are on a walk in the woods. It’s a beautiful day. You hear the birds chirp, the air is crisp and fresh, so much so you can almost smell spring and the forest coming to life. The sunlight casts its rays through the shade of the trees. You are as relaxed as you’ve been in a long time and are truly living in the present moment. Then…..
SNAP!! You hear a twig crack… followed by the sound of rustling……….
How do most people automatically respond? If you’re like me, without consciously thinking about it, you freeze, your adrenaline spikes and your heart rate jumps. Your first reaction is to enter flight or flight mode as there might be a major threat nearby! Then, you look into the woods and see a squirrel prancing around searching for food. Whew, that was close! Not really, but it sure felt like you were in danger there.
WHY DO WE REACT THIS WAY?
That automatic reaction is what scientists refer to as the Negativity Bias. It’s hard wired into our species from thousand of years ago. And it’s one of the many reasons our species (and your lineage) is still here today. Our ancestors — Archaic Man — needed this negativity bias in order to survive. In primitive times, that “squirrel” might very well have been a Saber-tooth tiger. And if your ancestor chose to ignore such a threat in favor of focusing on the smells of nature, they likely would have become dinner for the tiger, thus ending your genealogical lineage.
VELCRO AND TEFLON
In extreme circumstances, this instinct can serve us well. But what about in the First World, when all we typically face are your usual “First World Problems”? Ever wonder why your sales presentation feels so scary? Or why your high school tennis match feels like “life or death”? Its the Negativity Bias at work. Our brains are like velcro for danger and negativity. And like teflon for positive things.
In our typically comfortable life, we don’t have those types of extreme dangers to occupy our minds on a daily basis. So, our unconscious minds project danger onto simple, everyday problems. And amplifies them to feel like a life or death encounter with a tiger. This is why your upcoming conversation with your boss, while important, feels disproportionately scary.
TAMING THE TIGER
This reactive thinking pattern can hinder both our success and enjoyment of everyday life. If it’s hardwired in us, what can we do to overcome it?
I will tell you from first hand experience it is NOT EASY to overcome Negativity Bias. I have a very strong startle reflex and occasional paranoia of otherwise normal things, as my wife will tell you. To overcome the habit takes consistent and daily practice. Some things you can do include:
Here are some exercises you can do to re-focus towards the good in your life:
1. Every day, write down three good things that happened to you.
2. Express gratitude. Expressing gratitude emits brain chemicals of well being. Once per week, write, email or text someone who you are grateful for. Tell them why you appreciate. them.
3. Meditate. The science is squarely behind this one and the impact it has on your brain.
4. Meditation not for you? Grab your headsets and listen to your favorite tunes. There’s growing evidence that listening to music has similar effect to meditation. For me, depending on my mood I’m either going with beach tunes (think Jimmy Buffett) or songs that fire me up to compete (think Green Day or John Mellencamp).
Do you know what your Saber-tooth tigers are? And what’s one thing you will do today to start reshaping your own narrative around them? Happy mindset-changing!!